My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
