cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
