I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
