Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
