drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
