Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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