normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
