Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
