i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
