Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
it was like eating out sand paper
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
