Well douche your snatch and let's go!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
