I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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