I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
