dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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