I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
