Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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