after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize