how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
