He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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