Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
