We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize