You smell like stripper and shame
a search helicopter?!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I need moral support for this bender
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
