Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
