Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize