The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She even gives head with a lisp.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize