i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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