the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I have fence marks all over my body
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
