If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You have to summon your inner elephant
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
