We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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