There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
