Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
