I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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