woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
