Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
