If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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