can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
