I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
