Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I can't put those talents on a resume
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
