erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
