i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
