Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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