ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
