508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's shark week go big or go home
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
