I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Can't talk, ducks in the car
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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