i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
