Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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