Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
