No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
