we're blogging at a bar
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You made out with two different species that night
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
