i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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