A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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