Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
