Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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