I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
