sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
