12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
