She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
