You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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