I think my vagina is haunted
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
They took my balls.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
