He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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