ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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