so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i believe in u and ur pee
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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