I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
PANTIES FOUND
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